Thorn Queen Chapter Five

I in full intended to wee-wee good on my promises, and in Tucson the bordering mean solar day, I began acquiring an odd assortment of goods that I hoped cogency improve the Thorn Lands situation. Admittedly, they were kind of lame, plainly I figured I had to start somew here(predicate) and was rather proud of my attempts when I finished.I was seated down in front of the TV with an early dinner that night when Kiyo walked in, clad in his white vets coat. Natur every last(predicate)y, all the animals lifted their top dogs or rattling walked over to him in greeting. If I hadnt been balancing a plate of ravioli on my lap, I would assimilate leapt up and run into his arms. Instead, I gave him a dazzling smile, one that grew larger when I sawing machine he carried a bouquet of flowers.I would have been here sooner, he verbalise, tossing the coat onto a chair. But I had an laternoon shift.Hey, Im scantily happy to see you at all. I figured youd still be busy with baby stuff. Nope. He sat down in a chair opposite me and dictated the bouquet down on the c saturnineee table. You were amazing on that point, you make do.If by amazing, you spurious shoddily dressed and leading on gentry princes-then, yes. Yes, I was. What ar those for? I gestured with my fork to the flowers-an arrangement of b responsibilityly colored gerbera daisies.Do I need a reason? Aside from you being impressive?I swallowed the piece of ravioli Id reasonable chewed. Of course in that respects a reason. Theres ceaselessly a reason. Weve talked ab contend forth this before.He gave me a lazy, dangerous smile, propping his head up on his elbow as his shadower eyes assessed me. Right. Standard practices in courtship and mating. Gifts wedded as subtle suggestions. Here, take these plant sexual practice organs. Hint, hint. It was an old joke between us.Fortunately, in your case, you dont need to be that subtle. I already get it on you want sex.True, but I wanted to give up any d oubts. Besides, youve been so great latelyI dont know. I just wanted to do something nice. Figured we could have a recreation night-although, youre dashing my dreams of taking you show up to dinner with the way youre inhaling that ravioli.Sorry, I utter through a mouthful of food. Ive got a job tonight, so I had to eat early.His eyebrows rose. What kind of raw mess is this? I fix false work so I back take you out on the town, and youve got to go into work now? Why cant you have Lara schedule you day jobs?Because I was busy today with Thorn Land business.Kiyo gave me a wide-awake guess.Hey, dont judge me, I warned. I wasnt actually over there. But I kind of found out recently that people are starvation and button without water.Yeah. Ive heard that.Now I was the one with the incredulous look. You knew and didnt enjoin me?Dont jump all over me I figured you had people to deal with it. And probably those people had people.Yeah, well, all of those people are having a weensy t rouble. In fact, Ive got to go back tomorrow to armed service round up some brigands.Did you just say brigands? Thats veryI dont know. Very 1683.Well, whatso invariably they are, theyre a pain in the ass and possibly abducting girls. I gave him a quick recap. You want to go with me and help?He move his head ruefully. You know, I came here hoping to spend measure with you. Instead, I hap out youve got a job tonight and are playing sheriff tomorrow.Would it help if I wore a cowgirl outfit?It susceptibility. He came over to sit beside me and kissed my cheek. And yes, Ill go tomorrow. Ill even go tonight, if you want the company.You see? We are spending fictitious character time together.I just hope theres some quality time in bed later to help make up for it all.Well, I give tongue to haughtily, setting my plate on the table, that depends on you, huh? I have no doubts about my quality.He put a hand on my thigh and brushed his lips against my neck. Oh, Eugenie. Dont push your lu ck here, he grow lead, or you might be late for work.I grinned and answered by way of a long, complicated kiss that probably would have turned into more(prenominal) if my appointment hadnt been so close. That, and we also heard Tim coming in the back door. He never wishwisek it very well when he found Kiyo and me in a whippy position.The two of us drove over near the university, to a equable residential neighborhood that was split evenly between single-family residences and crowded houses shared by students. As we pul take up in front of a change two-story home in need of a new paint job, Kiyo frowned.That microbus looks really familiar, he said, eyeing the driveway.Really? I asked innocently.We got out of the car and approached the house. When wed cleared the microbus, Kiyo paused to look at its slew of bumper stickers. Question Authority and Roswell or Bust were but a few. He gave me a sharp, accusing look.Eugenie, did Wil Delaney move?Nooo, I said slowly. But this is a f riend of his.Kiyo groaned. If Id known this, I would have stayed home. That ridicule is insane. And deferral-did you just say he actually has a friend?A friend with a legitimate problem. And you can always go wait in the car.Kiyo said nonhing, merely steeling himself as we approached the door. Wil Delaney was a former invitee of mine. He was a conspiracy theorist who almost never left hand his home and whose sole income depended on a blog he ran that furthered his ideas on the politics, aliens, mind control, genetic manipulation, and a whole host of former(a) chapped premises. He was quite a possibly the most paranoid person Id ever met.He was also Jasmines half-brother. It was how wed met. Hed been the one to hire me to go find her in the Otherworld, long before Id known anything about Storm King and the prophecy. Apparently, Wil and Jasmines flummox hadnt been so virtuous and had cheated on Mr. Delaney a lot-even with gentry warlords.About a dozen locks unclicked before w e were allowed into the house, which was almost as many as Wil had at his own home. The person who greeted us was a woman, a very puppy resembling one. She was short with plump cheeks, cropped brown hair, and pink cat-eye glasses. Is this her? she asked.A moment later, Wils head peered around the doorways side. He looked the same as last time piquet blond hair in need of cutting, glasses, and skin that never saw the sun. Yup.Whos the guy? asked the woman suspiciously.Her boyfriend. Hes cool. Cairo.Kiyo, I corrected. I held out my hand to her. You must(prenominal) be Trisha.I prefer to be called Ladyxmara72, she said. Because really, were all just unidentified faces in this society, as far as the government is concerned. Plus, Ladyxmara72 is one of my population of Warcraft character names. Ironic that a virtual society kindred that can be more honest and egalitarian than our own. Or maybe She paused dramatically. Its not so ironic.Wil stared at her adoringly. Beside me, Kiyo do some sort of strangulate noise.They led us inside a home nearly as dark as Wil kept his. I guessed Trisha-I refused to call her Lady-whatever-worried about the same issues with actinotherapy that he did. Her home was neater, however, and bore slightly more feminine touches, like furniture that matched and a few odourise candles. The candles appeared to be homemade, undoubtedly so they wouldnt poison the air with artificial scents or be laced with trackers that the government could use to listen in on Trishas conversation.So, said Trisha as we entered the dungeon room. An episode of The X-Files was paused on the TV. Youre here to take care of the alien problem.Im here to-what did you say? I looked back and forth between Wil and her.Aliens, she said. My house is infested with them.I peered around, half-expecting to see E.T. hanging out on the loveseat. All was empty and still. I dont really at a lower placestand. Didnt Wil tell you what I do?We dont know for sure that theyre a liens, he said hastily. But there is something here.Of course they are she exclaimed. He cowered a little under her glare. Ive seen them looking in the windows-just like on that documentary.Immediately, his discompose turned to outrage. Oh, come on You know thats a hoax. The evidence is overwhelming.The crazy house it is Theres no way anyone could fake that kind of-Um, hey, you guys? I said. Can we just get this taken care of? Tell me more about the ali-whatever. engage you both(prenominal) seen them?They nodded. Theyre short with big eyes, Trisha said triumphantly.But they wear paisley typesetters case coats, added Wil. And they do chores at night.Doesnt sound so bad to me, murmured Kiyo. Why get rid of them?Kobolds, I said after a moments thought. Youve got kobolds.There is no known planet by that name, argued Trisha.I sighed. Just take me to your wine cellar.Trisha led us through the house, and Wil drifted over beside me. Isnt she amazing? I swear he was on the marge of sw ooning.Your first girlfriend? I asked.Howd you know?Instinct. savory Wil in conversation was always dangerous, but seeing as he never left the house or had much social interaction, I just had to ask the next question. Howd you guys meet?On a forum. We were both in this thread and kept arguing about whether there was a government connection between the overdoses of Marilyn Monroe and Heath Ledger, and then we-Okay, I said, grimacing. Thats abounding. Really.We reached the basement door, and Trisha started to go down. Dont, I warned. You guys need to stay up here. I gave Wil a stern look. Dont let her down there until were do. You of all people know Im not fucking around.Wil blanched further-if that was possible-and gave a hasty nod. Wil had traveled with me to the Otherworld and fully understood the perils of my job. I could hear Trisha arguing with him as Kiyo and I descended the stairs, until now somehow, Wil managed to do his job and animation her away.I never thought it was possible, said Kiyo, once we were out of earshot. Hes found and fallen in love with psyche exactly like him. I guess there really is someone for everyone.Shes a little more assertive than he is, I think.Good. He needs it.On the bright side, thisll be cake. Kobolds arent an issue.Kiyo nodded his agreement but wrinkly his nose when we reached the bottom of the steps. Theyre bad-smelling ones, though.The basement wasnt finished and bore the usual fuddle one found in such places. Lots of hiding spy for kobolds. I pulled on a hanging chain, and a bare lightbulb offered meager illumination. Taking out my wand, I extended my arm and move the whole basement.By the earth and fire you serve, I command you to make known yourselves.Shamanic magic tingled from me, through the wand and its gems, and into the room. A moment later, three forms materialized. They were about three-feet high, male, and hardly resembled the big-eyed aliens popular in modern culture. These guys were wizened, wit h patchy yellow hair. Wils discover about the paisley coats wasnt entirely accurate either. One wore plaid.Why did you call us out? the one in plaid demanded in a soprano voice. We havent done anything to you. We havent done anything to anyone.You guys, you cant stay here, I said. Not in this house. Its not yours. This world isnt yours. I was a stickler for world ownership.Were helping, argued one of the paisley ones. Do you know how messy these people are? Books and paper everywhere.If Trishas house had resembled Wils before the kobolds arrived, I could well imagine it. Kobolds were kind of like benign goblins, originating in Union Europe and rarely given to maliciousness unless provoked. My hope was that they could simply be talked into leaving.Thats really nice and all, but I mean it you cant stay here. Ive got to dismiss you back to the Otherworld. Give me a hard time about it, and Ill make it the Underworld.The plaid one scowled. Youre as cruel as they say, Eugenie Thorn Qu een. Weve done nothing to deserve this.I tried not to scowl right back. Before learning about my gentry blood, Id often conducted shamanic business under the pseudonym Odile Dark Swan. It was what Otherworld denizens had known and feared me as. I wasnt thrilled to know that no part of my identity was a secret anymore.You guys, I am not screwing around. You know who I am. You know what I can do, so stop wasting time. Wand still in hand, I began to line of reasoning an opening to the Otherworld. You cant take on both of us, let alone one.No, retard the other paisley one. But he can.He-ahhFurry hands reached around from arsehole me just seconds after Kiyo exclaimed, EugenieKiyo was normally on high alert but had been as cocky as me about dealing with the kobolds. His attention had been on them, and he hadnt sensed the other threat lurking in the basement. Well, that wasnt entirely true. Kiyo had scented this creature, if the odor emanating from its hands and arms was any indication . He just hadnt made the connection.I still didnt have a good look at my furry-armed captor, seeing as I was still struggling to break salvage of its grasp. Kiyo was on it in a flash, needing no weapons save his own masher strength. His hands closed around the creatures arms, and he managed to pull them loose enough for me to slip out of its grip. Once free, I was able to get a good look. It was aHuh.I wasnt really sure. It was furry, brown, and tall, with rounded ears like a mouse or bear and hooves like a deer and a whole other assortment of random animal parts. It gave a strangled roar of displeasure, and I braced for it to turn back on me. Usually, that was how it worked. Creatures who came after me usually had one of two goals either rape me on the situation or kill me to prevent me from fulfilling the prophecy.But Smokey the Bear, or whatever it was, was going after Kiyo, ignoring me while the kobolds watched gleefully. Kiyo socked the creature hard in the chest, and I sig ht a faint ripple of light spread through it that wearied quickly. Smokey then harvestinged with a punch that took Kiyo hard in the face and displace him toward the wall. It was hard, too-that punch had been meant to kill. Kiyos reflexes were too fast, though, and he caught himself before his skull could smash against the solid concrete.I leapt into the oppose then, pulling out my Glock. Id loaded it with silver bullets earlier and was gladiolus Id done so. I got off a lucifer of shots into the monster. Each time, I saw its form ripple, but it still didnt come after me. It was too intent on violent death Kiyo. The two grappled further, and I continued firing, knowledgeable I had to be weakening it. nonetheless, one lucky blow knocked Kiyo off his feet and onto his back. The kobolds cheered when he remained still.Me, I screamed in rage, taking my wand in my other hand and facing the furry monstrosity head-on. It attempted no killing blows on me and merely kept trying to get a hold of me as I fired and began the banishing words. Suddenly, Kiyo was on his feet again, thrusting himself between us. wedge the sinning away from her he snarled. I saw all the muscles in his body tense and had a feeling he was on the verge of shape-shifting.Smokey looked angry and turned into full assault mode again. Get out of the way, I said. Ive got him.Im not letting him lay a hand on you, retorted Kiyo, eyes fixed on his foe. A flash of gold glimmered in Kiyos eyes. Gold like a foxs.Hes not trying to kill or rape me, I argued, as Kiyo dodged another crushing blow. He wants to capture me-you he wants to kill.But Kiyo was dead set on protecting me, and I finally decided hed be safest if I hurried up and just finished the banishing rather than attempt to protect him. Firmly channeling my power into the wand, I again began opening a gate to the Otherworld. As I did, though, I kept thinking about those ripples I saw when Id attacked the beast, like it couldnt quite stay togeth er. An idea struck me, and rather than direct the banishing magic into snap open the fabric of this world, I directed it toward Smokey-or, rather, toward the Otherworldly magic belongings Smokey together. Kiyo sprang away from the fight, realizing what I was going to do.Sure enough. A spiderweb of light all of a sudden covered the monster, fragmenting his form. With the wand, I destroyed the magical bonds, and suddenly-he exploded.But not like Aeson had exploded. It was more like he evil away. Gone was the large, hulking, furry form. Instead, scuttling on the ground was a swarm of woodland creatures mice, rabbits, a deer, and a couple of ducks. The mice and rabbits immediately scurried into whatever nooks and crannies they could find. The ducks looked confused. The deer ran up the stairs.With the banishing magic already started, it was halcyon to complete the actual opening to the Otherworld and send the kobolds through. Just before they vanished, Kiyo leaned toward them-keepi ng out of the magics way-and fixed them with a dark, angry chemical formula. The blood on his face from the fight only added to his fearsome appearance.Tell whoever sent you here to leave her the funny farm alone, or I will come after him myself and rip him apart limb by limb. And Ill do the same to you guys while Im at it. None of you are ever going to lay a hand on her again, he growled.The kobolds faces reflected true fear as they disappeared from this world. Silence fell, aside from the unperturbed and confused quacking of the ducks who still didnt know what to do with themselves.Well, I gasped. That was one of the more convoluted schemes Ive seen yet. Would-be rapists often did attempt to distract me with a apparently ordinary banishing and then would swoop in unexpectedly. This person had sent the kobolds to tempt me out and then that woodland conglomeration to actually subdue me and contain me back as a war prize. Kiyo, as an obstacle to that plan, had had to be elimina ted first. I took in his ripped shirt and blood. Are you okay?Fine, fine, he said, wiping his face. Its superficial. What the hell was that?Some monster that a gentry put together with magic. choke all those animals into one stronger form and ordered it after me.Will it come back together?No. I broke the bonds, and theyre all bedcover apart anyway.Um, Eugenie? Wils voice suddenly rang down the stairs. Is everything okay down there? A deer just ran through the living room.Kiyo and I both decided later that it was a good thing Smokey had disbanded like he had. Otherwise, if theyd seen his full form, Trisha and Wil would have had enough Bigfoot material for their forums to last until the next century. Goodness only knew what kind of threads and rumors this event alone would start.Trisha paying(a) me in cash once we frisked the deer out of the house, and I told her she was on her own for the other animals in the basement. As we were leaving, Wil briefly caught me alone, his goofy, pa ranoid expression replaced by a much grimmer one. Have you found Jasmine yet? he asked in a very soft voice.I bit my lip. No matter how absurd I thought Wil was, whenever I saw how much Jasmines disappearance grieved him, it broke my heart. Id never told him the truth of her heritage. The only information Id given him was that she was on the run and hadnt been kidnapped. I thought hed take comfort in knowing she wasnt being held against her will, but it hurt him to think she didnt want to be with him. He truly loved his sister, no matter how much she disdain the human world. It was really quite sad.No, Im sorry. I really am.His face fell further, and he gave a weak nod. Yeah. I figured. I know youll keep looking, though. And youll let me know if you find her?I tried to give him a reassuring smile. Sure.The truth was, I didnt know if I would tell him. It all depended on what state I found her in. If I found her significant and bent on conquering the worldswell, I wasnt entirely sur e what Id do then, but one thing I felt certain of was that there was no way I was ever going to let her return to this world.